Benefits of Being Demotional
The time feels right to finally break down the concept of being demotional from my point of view and how I’ve found it beneficial throughout my life. I should preface this by saying that the concept of being demotional was not created by me whatsoever, so I guess learning how I got introduced to the idea is a good place to start.
Learning About Being Demotional
I fondly remember back in the spring of 2017 when I first discovered this idea of being demotional. Boy did I not realize how much this concept would open up my mind and perspective - more on that to come later.
To put a long story short, I was experiencing one of the most tumultuous emotional periods of my life on so many different levels right at the turn of 2017. Apologies to my friends at the time who had to experience this seething darkness that I was breathing and emitting.
I was going through a period of being lost with myself in figuring out my personal journey and how emotions play into that experience. For some time, I sensed an internal paradox being cultivated by both my own doing as well as external social forces feeding into that. It was as if my mind was turning against me and ready to self implode, and this moment led to me nearly punching a hole in the wall at my apartment at 2 AM one night.
That moment immediately took me off guard and I knew that I had to get this under control before it becomes uncontrollable. So, as I’ve done before in periods of darkness, I scavenged through YouTube videos and interviews to learn how to navigate this mixed bag of emotions that I’ve never had at any time before that point. That’s when I stumbled upon this interview between Anupama Sharma and Shahrukh Khan.
As the concept suggests, demotional is a combination of being both emotional and detached from your state of being. At its core:
Being demotional is being so passionate about things that you can still allow them not to get under your skin
You might think that’s quite contradictory, and I did as well when I first thought about it. However, after spending some more time deciphering it, being demotional made a lot more sense to me.
Exploring Being Demotional
I have to say that being quite the quiet, sentimental type, I knew I had to revert to my younger days of being a bit more scientific in nature when it comes to problem solving. My emotions were going to get the better of me, so I tried out this new journey of being demotional.
At first, it felt like living in two different worlds where I would step back and forth across a mirror image of the same world.. something a bit akin to the Dual Actor’s Mentality philosophy. Whenever I felt myself straying too deep into my emotions on a particular matter, I immediately detached myself from the situation and observed myself from almost a third person’s point of view. Sure, it isn’t a purely objective point of view, but it did still provide some value.
As the days, weeks, months, and years went on, I finally was able to get out of the initial emotionally dark period I was experiencing in early 2017. However, I did also begin to notice that I was erring more towards the detached side of being demotional and was losing a lot of the passion for the projects and things I initially loved doing. That was definitely an unintended consequence of this journey.
This led to a ping-pong type of effect where I kept switching from being either too emotionally focused or too detached from things. As someone who strives for balance, knowing all too well that it’s nearly impossible to sustain an ideal balanced state for the long haul, I decided to go back to my initial strategy and step back and forth across that mirror image on a more consistent basis. This would often look like embracing my emotions during most of the week and then stepping over to a more detached mindset over the weekend.
I continued to tinker with this strategy as different times called for a different approach, but I ultimately found that being demotional had its merits.
Takeaways from Embracing a Demotional State of Mind
About four years later, I’ve had some time to reflect a bit on the lessons of being demotional and its personal impact on my life. Some of the main lessons I’ve taken away from this initial “experiment” include:
You can be passionate and not too serious about things
This was something I had a tough time wrapping my head around at first. How can you truly be passionate about something and not serious about it; does that even constitute passion then? Through being demotional, I came to realize this paradox held truth since you are able to more healthily approach matters in a balanced manner that takes into account others and your own mental psyche.
It’s fun to observe yourself from a third-person point of view
I know it’s not truly an objective, independent point of view, but you crack up at the things you do and think about when you detach yourself from matters from time to time. You know how it’s like when a friend listens and talks you through a problem you’re experiencing and you can’t understand why your friend slightly finds the situation funny - that’s exactly what it’s like.
Learning from both sides of the same coin is instrumental
Having been able to constantly navigate back and forth between two different sides of the brain and two different worlds in a mirror image of yourself, I found the value in constantly checking in with the other side of the same topic or concept. In a world that is as open-minded, yet still closed-minded at the same time, as ever before, being demotional helps to continue expanding my view on things.
Well there you have it! It’s been a fun journey, to say the least, and I don’t believe I’ll ever stop being demotional. While the odd concept to grasp and one that can literally make you feel as if you’re ripping into two halves, being demotional and getting to explore it in some depth has been one of the greatest experiences and assets to my life!
With that said, I’ll take some advice from my demotional mind and be taking a break from the weekly blog to reflect a bit more silently, but I look forward to returning hopefully if and/or when the time is right again!
“Demotional. I am detached and yet I am emotional. I am strangely detached from life and yet I am emotional about the things I do.“ - Shahrukh Khan
