Feel the Difference
Sometimes, you just get inspired in the midst of the moment, and sometimes old age lessons come back oddly at the perfect time. I just pulled up a Daily Mix playlist Spotify curates for you and came across Logic’s song featuring Will Smith, Don’t Be Afraid To Be Different, and the song’s cliche hit me a bit different.
We all have grown up hearing the old adage:
Don’t be afraid to be different. Embrace the difference.
It’s odd how the circle of life leads us to grow up conforming to the norms set upon us by social and cultural circles. I remember back in the day, oddly enough, when skater skinny jeans were the hot item among my friends in middle school and I convinced my dad to buy me and my younger brother a pair one day. It’s safe to say that I now no longer prefer skinny jeans as I’ve grown older.
We spend so much of our teenage and early adult years trying to fit in and not strike a different chord with the crowd that we lose sense of our own individual self. Then the dreaded quarter life crisis discussions ensue with your friends - trust me, I’m going through it right now as we speak. Then we go through this weird grey area with respect to time where we have to figure our own self identity and the differences that make it shine.
Personally, I know how difficult it is to try and build your own self identity and shut out the noise that surrounds you and tells you not to stray from the norm. It’s a huge noise that stems from the cultural norms I grew up fostered by, and I’m sure it’s similar for a lot of you out there. Once the ideas of finding your differentiator enter your mind, you have two demons to confront:
Outside Critics
These are your friends, family, and colleagues that have their own vision for what is right for you and your life based upon their own perspective on life. The issue is that you grew up alongside these folks for your entire life and gained their strong trust, making it difficult to want to go against their advice. It’s hard to not go against your close circle, but it’s the fact that they cannot see the vision you yourself see that is truly frustrating.
Will Smith, a true inspiration for me and on the track that inspired this post, once said the following: “There’s a redemptive power that making a choice has.” If anything, that means making the choice to block out the outside critics’ feedback for something you’re willing to seek out is the first and major step to truly find yourself. It takes a lot of willpower to make this simple choice, but I believe that you can follow the guidelines and framework for life I’ve discussed in my post Small Defining Moments to help you in making that ultimate choice for yourself.
Inner Critic
If you get lucky enough to get past the outside noise, then the inner critic in you so coincidentally walks up to your doorstep to make you rethink your decision. Decision paralysis that stems from within is a b****, but it’s always there for a reason. We grew up in a structured environment in the education system where almost everything was planned for us, so when there is no longer a planned roadmap in front of us, we innately hesitate in face of the venture.
May Calamawy, starring as Dena and Ramy’s sister on the hit Hulu show Ramy, really hit the nail on the head for dealing with the inner voice in this interview. She goes on to say, “If you’re even deciding, it means that you want to do it.” Ain’t that the truth. Like conveying the vision to others, there is something inexplicable about the thought of embracing something you feel at the core which is wildly different.
While this seems to be push to all of a sudden drop everything and flip your life upside down as your read this post, I want to stress that you need to also take the time to let things come naturally to you. The reason why all of this is leaving an impression on me so strongly right now is likely due to the health pandemic. Everyone is forced to rethink what constitutes an authentic and meaningful life for themselves during these trying times, which is a beautiful thing to see!
At the end of the day, we all need to embrace the stories that each and every single one of us want to tell and share with each other. Hopefully the systems by which stories get told are drastically restructured following this period to allow all of us to have greater liberty in exploring what was once seemingly impossible to convey. But if the urge is strong enough from within, I’m sure there is a way you’ll find a workaround irrespective of what happens to the structures and systems. Who knows.. if there is enough of us transforming that strong internal urge into action, the systems and structures will have to change with it.
Anyways, just keep being weird, disheveled, all out of place etc. I think now is a great time to just sit in that limbo space in quarantine to truly get back in touch with ourselves. Listen to that spirit within and just let it speak without interrupting. It’s amazing what those different thoughts and voices you shut away for quite some time can open your eyes to. If anything, just remember how finding and feeling those differences can help you create a difference, foster greater relationships which don’t have to stem from commonalities, and teach others about new and interesting perspectives, and we here at Introspective Musings know how much we all love learning and cultivating new perspectives. Thanks Logic and Will Smith for reiterating this cliched aphorism at such a coincidental time!
“If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.” – Maya Angelou
