Lose Yourself in the Moment

Have you ever stopped to think and wonder when was the last time you really lost yourself in the midst of the moment? I guarantee most of you haven't really looked deeper into the meaning nor complexion of the moment and the events the ensued. That moment encapsulated everything that is you; yet, we just let it pass by as yet another of a multitude of moments that pass by in our seemingly mundane lives.

Let me share with you all a moment that will surely have you thinking I'm even crazier than most of you already think of me. As most of you know, I was an avid competitive soccer player when I was young. I raised up the ranks from AYSO to club soccer at a very early age after being scouted out by club coaches. The first club I played for was called "Wings" and soon went on to become "Real Cal" and then was later merged with another club and became "The Eagles". I had enjoyed playing my football (or soccer as most Americans would rather call it) with that club up until my middle school days right before they became "The Eagles". After my time with the club, I had transitioned to another club across town called "Newbury Park Soccer Club". Now most of you are thinking why the hell did this dude just tell us all of these details. Just wait till I further elaborate on my moment.

As a newcomer to Newbury Park Soccer Club, I found it difficult to assimilate myself to their style of play and training. However, with time and persistence, I soon found my rhythm and became arguably the most important and versatile player for my team. The summer after I finished middle school, we as a team were preparing for a big tournament. This was a very prestigious regional tournament that I wanted to make my mark at. With that in mind, I trained extra hard outside of our normal training sessions to adequately prepare myself for the tournament. I found myself in peak condition approaching the tournament and was ready to capture the glorious moment that I had been dreaming about for months.

To give a little more context as to how soccer tournaments are typically structured, there is a group stage where you play against three other teams in your group and then the first or top two teams from each group advance to the knockout rounds. Two of these three group games occur on Saturday with the final group game played Sunday morning. My team had a relatively difficult group when it was released, but I was confident that I could steer my team to the final. Saturday morning approached and I was completely in the zone. I completely bullied the other team in the midfield and led my team to an easy victory. That was the right way to start off the tournament. The second game of any tournament is typically the most crucial of the three group games a team has to play, and boy was this second game going to be one of my most vivid memories to date.

This second game was against my old team and former teammates of The Eagles. It had been two years since I left and I knew that this would be an interesting game since both of the teams knew very well how the other liked to play. I was quite nervous for this game since I knew that my former team was more likely to win on paper, but I quickly got rid of this thought from my mind once we kicked off to start the game. The game started off tense for both sides but the game quickly opened up. We got to the end of the first half still at 0-0, leaving me to think that we had a good chance at winning the game. The second half would prove to be quite the chippy one. We got an early goal in the half and then my former team started to play a bit more physical after I saw that they were getting quite frustrated with the way things were going for them. I guess I didn't really help the cause by trash talking my old teammates. My old team scored near the middle of the second half, leaving for an exciting remaining 15 minutes.

Seeing that my team was starting to gain the upper hand in the game, my old team decided to do something that still has me surprised to this very day. As I collected the ball into a good position at the top of the 18 yard box, one of my former teammates, in fact my closest friend from that team, decided to frustrate me by delivering a tough knock to me. He rammed into me in such a way that I fell quite awkwardly on my hand and felt an excruciating shot of pain twinge through my arm. Imagine feeling what it would be like as a glass vase shattering and that's what I was feeling at that very moment. I left the game in tears from the anguishing pain and distressing news from one of my teammate's dads who happened to be a doctor that my wrist was very likely broken. I ended up getting it bandaged and iced as I watched the game end in a 1-1 draw from the sidelines. I had the most disgusted face and angry demeanor about me as I went to go give the sportsmanlike handshake to the my former team at the end of the game. I was heartbroken at the fact that my tournament would be cut short.

As the team's captain, I decided to come support my team on from the sidelines for our final group game on that Sunday morning. We were playing the most difficult team from our region in that final group game. Looking at the group standings, I realized that we needed to win in order to advance; otherwise, the other team we were playing against that morning would advance onward. Once the game got underway, I quickly realized that this game could turn into a bloodbath with the other team bullying us all throughout the first 10 minutes of the game. We were all out of sorts and couldn't string together any more than 5 passes at a time. It was a horrid sight to watch and I was thankful that halftime arrived. We were down 0-3 and things didn't look all that great. That's when I decided to go into a state of mind that I can't even fathom to explain to this day.

I decided to go to my car and get my gear from the trunk. Note that I have and always will be a pretty stubborn guy - I think I got this trait from my mom LOL. My parents didn't even know that I sneaked my soccer bag and gear into the trunk. As I came back to the sidelines, I put on all of my gear and firmly decided that I would check myself in for the second half. My parents and all the other parents, my coach, and the referees were looking at me as if I were a madman to go out and risk further injuring myself. Pain was the last thing on my mind; I lost myself in that moment and the pain was seemingly numb. There I found myself on the field with my left wrist all bandaged up. With my presence on the field, our team found a sense of strength and identity once again. I helped orchestrate a series of attacks that left the opposition's defense for dead. They thought that they could stop the tide by trying to force me out of the game through a series of tackles that would further aggravate my broken wrist. Little did they know that I didn't care if my body broke because I wouldn't feel anything in that moment. As a side note, please take care of your body more than I have though and don't try to push through serious injuries unless you have this crazy gene like me haha.

Through my added efforts, I was able to cut the deficit down to 2-3 with 5 minutes left in the game. Everyone was astonished at how the game turned on its head in the second half. I wasn't satisfied with just being able to salvage 2 goals back; I wanted to leave my lasting mark that I coveted since the early days of summer in preparation for this tournament. With 2 minutes left, I found myself running up the middle of the park (excuse my English-like commentary there lol) and played the ball off to my left winger right outside the 18 yard box. I quickly darted to the top of the box and shouted at the top of my lungs for him to lay the ball back to me. In one quick motion, I found the ball rolling towards me at the top of the arc right outside the 18 yard box and then finessed it into the top left corner of the goal. We had come back from being down 0-3 to tie the game at 3-3 in the end. Everyone on my team and all our parents and families went crazy. That was a game for the ages as all the other spectators from a variety of other teams would tell you after they came to watch the game after hearing the news that we were in the midst of a gigantic comeback. I was ambivalent after the game because I realized that we wouldn't make it to the finals but I made my mark felt.

We all have a moment like this where we completely get into a whole new state of mind. Most people cannot experience what you experience in that moment because they aren't you. It's when you lose yourself in the moment and others think that you are crazy that you find something special. You find your madness and can let that color the rest of your life. I'm mad to continue putting my body on the line when my ego gets in the way of clouding, what to most people is, sound judgement. I'll take my chances though if it means I can capture that same feeling I did when I played that second half in the final group game with a broken wrist.

"And remember, no matter where you go, there you are." - Confucius